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Q:
How important is it to know how this condition originated?
A:
Paruresis is one of those problems that takes on a life of its own.
Knowing or working on the "original cause" will do little to
help you recover. Rather, reducing
avoidance, working on changing your thinking and attitudes about peeing/not
peeing, and developing survival techniques will be a far more fruitful way to
spend your time, money, and energy.
Here's an analogy:
If I started smoking when I was 17 because of peer pressure, I will not
get over my current cigarette addiction at age 52 by figuring out why I
succumbed to the pressure or even learning how to stand up to my peers.
Q:
How long does it take to recover?
A: Recovery
time varies depending on the individual. While
in the best case a month of graduated exposure work can produce good results,
most people report that several months of work are required. Many of us have worked on aspects of our recovery for a year or more.
Some rare cases of recovery in a few days have been reported as a result
of attending a workshop or working with a therapist, but there is skepticism as
to whether the recovery will be lasting, or if the person had a case of
paruresis to begin with. While some
people with a long-term history of paruresis or a severe case report that
dramatic improvements are possible, even those with the most successful
recoveries have found it necessary to continue graduated exposure work as part
of one’s lifestyle. Otherwise,
there may be a relapse. Sometimes a
person who has made excellent progress at and immediately after a workshop will
suddenly relapse. In these
situations attendance at a second workshop, or even a third workshop, may be
useful. Similarly, joining a support group may be helpful.
Looking at the prospect of working on recovery for a year
or more may sound daunting, but it is not. What happens is that a person makes small changes in lifestyle over time
that build more opportunities to work on practicing in public restrooms. As we make these changes, recovery work becomes part of life, and life
becomes more enjoyable. The result
is that a person isn’t putting the kind of intense effort into recovery that
it feels like during the first month or two of work. Expect the initial stages to feel a bit difficult, but take heart in the
notion that this will get easier over time and the rewards will provide
additional motivation to continue working on more challenging situations. It isn’t work to go out in the evening with some good
friends, enjoy dinner, drinks, or a movie, and to visit the restroom a couple of
times. That’s a normal life!
In general, your recovery time will depend on how long and
how serious your case of paruresis is. People
who have had it for a short time or have milder symptoms can expect to recover
sooner. Younger people can also
expect to recover sooner than those of us who are older and “more set in our
ways” as they say. That said, we
do have a number of people who have attended workshops who are retired and in
their 60’s or older and have reported great success in making improvement. So it is never too late to start on a recovery program.
While these general statements reflect what we have heard
from people, IPA does not have firm statistics on the time required to recover. Please do not view the above with any discouragement, or over-optimism.
We have seen many exceptions to the above very rough estimates. A person may need to vary several factors in order to find the best
combination of things that work for their particular situation. See the question below on maximizing one’s chances of recovering for
more information.
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