International Paruresis Association

 

 

International Paruresis Association

PO Box 65111
Baltimore, MD 21209

1-800-247-3864
410-367-1253 (phone)
410-367-1254 (fax)

info@paruresis.org

 

 

December 2002

Highlights
Chatting in a Women’s Restroom
Women attending an IPA workshop
Peeing Through the Fly of Your Pants

1. Question of the Season

How much does it bother you when women are chatting away in a restroom, either at a sink or maybe even between stalls? What, if anything, do you do about it? (see my response below)

2. New "News"

Please take a minute to read the following two posts from two women who just completed Steve's IPA workshop in Baltimore.

(1) Workshop--and the ride home

“A special hello to all the people who attended the workshop this weekend. I wanted to share this with you and Steve and Carl and anyone else who cares to listen. As you all know, I'm a woman who has no recollection of ever being able to pee in a public restroom with anyone else in there. I've had this problem since I was about 6 years old. Today I had a breakthrough at the workshop. My two pee buddys were running the water & blower for me and for the first time I went! I had not realized I had "graduated" to this level until I actually did it! BUT add to the excitement I must tell you that on the way I home I stopped at a rest stop on the NJTP (something I normally would never have done) just to "sit." The bathroom was large ,there was another person in there, but there was like a humming sound that was nice because it blocked out sounds like white noise. Also there was piped in music. Well guess what? I peed after a couple minutes and the song that was playing was "It feels like the first time" by Foreigner. I almost laughed myself right off the toilet!

I still have a very long way to go to get to where I want to be. But I've seen results this weekend that I never would have imagined. I trust there will be more good surprises. I encourage everyone out there not to give up!”

(2) From another female IPA workshop participant

“So after a week end workshop I have become one of those people wishing there were people in the bathroom! This morning I went to mall and used 3 bathrooms. One with lots of people and two, more elegant ones in two different department stores with people, but not mobs. I had no idea there were 3 women's rooms at the mall. I had no idea I could use them! All three times I went with someone in stall next to mine. And in the last one I stayed in stall for 7 minutes. There wasn't a line or anything, but no one moving in or out of bathroom seemed to care that I was in there "forever."

At the workshop, Carl said it was important to practice keeping people waiting. This really helped with the whole issue of lock ups. I can go into a bathroom knowing that if I lock up, I will sit there for 7-10 minutes and that is how I will evaluate the desensitization work. Boy, does that take the pressure off.

Then I went to hospital, which is a lot closer to me and used two bathrooms there. Both empty! They both had one person in them when I entered, but not when I "went" Too bad However I sat in "scary" one (two stalls) for 7minutes and no one came in. Alas. Well, I vow to return when it is busier.”

3. Check out the following website: http://www.travelmateinfo.com.

Carl, the IPA's VP, posted it on the website a few days ago. It's about a device that allows women to pee through the fly of their pants while standing. A follow-up post mentioned there is also a paper disposable version similar to this at Magellans travel catalogue. Anyone interested?

4. Additions/changes


5. My response to: How much does it bother you when women are chatting away in a restroom, either at a sink or maybe even between stalls or talking to their kids? What, if anything, do you do about it?

Before I began my recovery work, I usually would abandon a bathroom facility if anyone carried on a conversation. I would not even bother to try or would immediately leave a stall.

As part of my desensitization practice (and in a later phase of it), I actively invited friends of mine to join me and encouraged them to converse. After a while, their noise did not bother me at all. I continued to repeat my "mantra" (thanks to Dr. Howard Liebgold in my second AP workshop): I am a free peer (that's pee-er) , and I will stake my ground".

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WARNING AND DISCLAIMER: This website is NOT a substitute for medical or legal advice and does not constitute the practice of law, medicine, psychiatry, clinical psychology, clinical social work, or any other mental health profession.  If you are having trouble urinating, you should always contact a physician since difficulty with voiding can be a symptom of a serious medical condition. We are a group of professional people and people who have suffered with paruresis. We have assembled a board and a board of advisors to help people cope with urinary dysfunction that has a psychological or social origin. On this website, we are NOT practicing medicine, psychiatry, clinical psychology, clinical social work or any other mental health profession. You should have your doctor evaluate your condition before diagnosing yourself, and seek the appropriate necessary mental health counseling if warranted. IPA, Inc. disclaims any and all legal liability whatsoever.